


codependant

by zhuzhubi



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Codependency, Drug Addiction, Eating Disorders, F/M, Hospitalization, Mental Health Issues, Rehabilitation, Unhealthy Relationships, inpatient admission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:08:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25279789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zhuzhubi/pseuds/zhuzhubi
Summary: I think it’s gonna stick this time, this recovery thing.Yeah, me too....(or, reid x reader enable each other’s mental health issues)
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	codependant

**Author's Note:**

> also on tumblr at zhuzhubii

I’m sorry I yelled at you yesterday. I was just frustrated. I know rehab is hard for you too. 

… 

Where’s (y/n)?

_She passed out shortly after you arrived at the hospital. She’s been admitted, and she asked me to let you know she’s okay, but she can’t come see you right now._

What? No, I want to talk to her, she’s my girlfriend!

_We’ll see if your doctors will allow you to call her room later so she can tell you what’s going on. Until then, you need to rest, Mr. Reid, you’re still recovering from the overdose._

It’s Dr. Reid. 

…

I ate a muffin today. I know it’s not much, but. I’m trying, you know?

… 

You lost your fucking job because you couldn’t clean up for _3 days_ to pass a drug test. I just can’t with you right now, okay? No, don’t you dare turn this back on me, Spencer. I have my own issues, yes, I’ll admit that. But I didn’t get fired over them. 

How’re you gonna fund your little habit without a job, huh? You think about that? Because now I’m the only one bringing in any money, and you sure as hell aren’t getting anything from me just so you can blow it on drugs. 

… 

_I’m sorry, but I have to come into the bathroom with you._

What, you gonna watch me take a shit? Fuck, I’m sorry, I know it’s not your fault. You have to do your job. Just - _ugh_ \- just ignore me if I snap at you, it’s nothing personal. I’m just - yeah. Not great right now. 

… 

They told me, the doctors, that it’s not healthy for us to be together. That we’re enabling each other. But um - I told them to go fuck themselves. Just like that. I don’t know why I - no I mean I _know_ why I said it. I love you, that’s why. And I told them that, but they said if I love you so much I should let you go, you know, that neither of us is going to get better if we stay together so if I really love you I should end it. But - I’m sorry - but that’s bullshit. I wouldn’t’ve - I would never have agreed to rehab if it wasn’t for you. I would’ve signed myself out AMA after they were done clearing my system from the OD, or - or I don’t know maybe they would’ve put me on a 51/50 if I didn’t comply and I would’ve gone until they decided I was better, then went straight back to my dealer - _old_ dealer - once they released me. 

I could’ve worded it better, though, I guess - it made them think I wasn’t ready to go yet, and that’s why I called you last week to tell you they’d pushed my release back and I couldn’t visit. And they wouldn’t let me go unless I agreed to a day program so - that’s what I’ve been doing I guess. Sitting around making crafts and talking about my feelings like a little child - _god!_ \- I hate being babied like this. But I don’t know I - it’s really hard at night when I’m alone, not to - _you know_. So I guess maybe I need it.

… 

Oh, god Spencer - shit!

_911, what’s your emergency?_

I need an ambulance, my boyfriend OD. I gave him Narcan, but he’s still not responding. I’ve cleared his airway, and I’m pretty sure he’s still breathing, but I’m not a doctor. Please, send someone, please. 

…

I’ve still got a fucking CO, Spencer, because I’ve got this fucking tube down my throat pumping liquid calories right into me, and I can’t stop myself from trying to pull it out. So you can shut the hell up because you only had a CO for three days. No, no don’t tell me you understand, you don’t fucking understand, Spencer! Yeah, you’re an addict. Everybody and their mom knows that, and you’re delusional if you don’t think everyone can tell because you have the shakes all the fucking time. 

You don’t need narcotics to live, Spencer! No, no I won’t calm down because you’re trying to tell me we’re in the same boat when you don’t have to face your fucking addiction every day just to physically survive! Out of sight, out of mind for Spencer the junkie!

… 

My team - um, _old team_ I guess - came by the apartment last night. It was - it was nice, I don’t know. I just - _fuck!_ \- it’s gonna be a nightmare trying to find a new job with a failed drug test on my record. And no way will the bureau ever take me back - I asked Hotch, you know? Just in case. He seemed really genuinely sorry, but he said can’t make any more exceptions for me. Told me not to forget I had a good run as an agent. That I helped a lot of people, but _you can’t do that if you’re not well, Reid, it’s not more important than your health._

They’re counting this as medical leave for you, right? Good, good. I’m glad.

… 

They want to admit me to an ED ward. They’re looking for a bed now. Yeah, I know. I think they’ll put me on a 51/50 if I don’t agree to it, so. That’s that, I guess I’m doing this recovery thing. You should let them transfer you to detox. Don’t fight them, Spencer. I think it’s time to admit we can’t do this on our own. 

How long did you make it last time you tried to clean up? 18 hours, if that, before you gave in? And I fucked up my stomach; they said they’re afraid of refeeding syndrome. 

I don’t have a choice, and I don’t know maybe they won’t put you on a psych hold if you don’t comply, but. I think you should do it. Admit you need help, you know it’s only gonna be worse if you go home and I’m not there. Spencer, you almost died. If you OD while I’m inpatient there won’t be anyone to save you. Do you understand? Tell me you understand, Spencer, please.

…

I think it’s gonna stick this time, this recovery thing.

_Yeah, me too._


End file.
